image source: GraphicGarden.com
So, being the parent of a transgender child, you might think this would be a typical post about my child going back to school after recently transitioning, and how well things are (or are not) going for him with teachers, students, and faculty. But…Jacob is being home-schooled, so this isn’t that kind of post.
Although we are “back to school” with regards to our homeschool studies, actually, i am the one who has returned to school: i’m back in college, pursuing my degree in Psychology after way too many years of putting it off. Between that and my other responsibilities, i’m overwhelmed! I’m not sure what i expected, but i really wasn’t quite prepared for the amount of time it would carve out of my life.
Just a quick update on Jacob: he is still struggling with some eating/stomach issues. It’s been difficult to determine at this point how much of his inability to eat is physical and how much is mental. Due to the anxiety around eating, general anxiety, and depression, we did agree to try a very low dose of Prozac. I was reluctant at first due to all the scary warnings surrounding the use of those types of drugs with adolescents, but the herbal supplements weren’t helping, and we needed to do something. When we tried to increase the dose, he started having some negative thoughts (which confirmed my fears about all of those scary warnings!), so we are back down to the minimum dosage and when we see his psychiatrist later this upcoming week we will have the medication changed. He will also be seeing a gastroenterologist to find out whether there’s something physical contributing to his stomach distress.
Jacob has a girlfriend, and it’s a long-distance relationship, which is both a benefit and a stressor. Overall it has been great for his self-esteem, and she took the news that he is trans* without skipping a beat so i am extremely grateful to her for giving him that positive experience.
We have a Pride Festival happening in a few weeks in our town, and the buzz is that it may end up being one of the largest in our state. I’ve been helping with planning and am really excited and nervous about the possibilities. Jacob and other youth from his support group will be staffing the t-shirt sales table. I guess my nervousness comes from the fear that people will show up to preach or try to “pray away the gay” or just generally act in an obnoxious and inappropriate way. There will be security, but i don’t want the youth involved to be exposed to anything negative. So…just send some rainbow vibes our way mid-month in the hopes that this will turn out to be a positive experience for all involved! Thanks. =)
Please forgive me for being out of touch, especially when it comes to visiting your spaces. I am thinking of you all.
[for his privacy, my son's real name is not used]
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That is so cool to hear how Jacob’s girlfriend took the news. It’s nice to see that people appreciate openness. I look forward to reading about the pride event as I look forward to ours in October. It’ll be the first time I go out, and I’ll have a group of awesome friends for support. Good luck with your classes and the festival.
Wow awesome on so many levels. I wish I could home school ours sometimes, but the fact of the matter is I do not have the patience to teach our children. Yay on going back to school for yourself. I took many years to go back and get my Bachelor’s and I have not regretted it. I think it helps me in my current position at The Alliance. Yay on the girlfriend being so positive, wonder what her parents think, or if they know. Just a thought. And Yay on participating in planning a Pride in your area. I hope that it is ever so huge and that people give you nothing but positive feedback.
Congratulations on going back to school! My first roommate was a psych major, just graduated this past May. She was president of Psi Chi for a time and was exposed to all kinds of things. At the moment the psychology club on my campus has a series of conferences that educate on trans-issues. I’m sure you’ll find them to be a really progressive group; I look forward to hearing about your experience.
-Klv
Thanks everyone. Jacob’s gf is from that magical land known as The West Coast, and from what i have heard from local friends who’ve moved here to The South after having lived there, i think generally people in the western part of the U.S. are much more accepting and liberal. As one friend put it, the conservatives there are more liberal than most of the liberals here.
I’ve already been in touch with the faculty member who heads up the LGBT resource center at my school and plan to sign up this upcoming week. I love college but keep having to tell myself “i am not too old for this…”
Thanks again, y’all. Big hugs all around.
I admit it’s been a while since I’ve been to a pride festival. I remember at most like one creepy old guy protesting. Probably a deep closet case anyway. As far as I know now that a generations past sort of thing. Jacob should go and feel proud of himself and his community.
Wow! Congratulations on all the positives! Admittedly, I often wished that I could be homeschooled while I was still in secondary education, given that my school experience was a costly nightmare most of the time (and the vast majority of people were in their own narrow-minded bubbles, which didn’t exactly fit on my wavelength!). Well done on going back to school, and I wish you luck :)
I love reading about relationship-related positives, as they act as my buffer, in a way, and they keep my faith in humanity topped up when it’s dipping! Anyway, I should stop rambling, so good luck with the Pride, the college, and all the rest of it ;)
-JC
Again, thanks for the replies and well wishes. Sorry i’m so slow responding! I’m going to try to catch up on some blog reading tonight. I miss you all!
So good to hear from you guys. Sorry that Jacob has been having some anxiety/depression type feelings. Kyle is really showing some signs of depression now too and I’ve given it a week in my head and if he’s not showing improvement I will call the Doctor. He’s currently on Celexa-which actually helps with both depression and anxiety so if you end up having to change meds you may want to consider that. Up until recently it has worked very well for us. Congratulations on going back to school-I know that’s a big step!
I’m sorry to hear that Kyle is depressed too. Jacob was switched from Prozac to Zoloft and things are no better. I am feeling like he is much worse with this medication than he was before we started any of it. He has no interest in any activities, doesn’t want to leave the house ever, just wants to lie in bed all day and night. Even though he had depression and anxiety before it was never like that. He says he feels hollow now and i fear it’s the medication doing that. We are titrating off and we’ll see what happens with everything out of his system before we try something else.
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